In the current time of constantly running around to a rat race, trying to make time to fit everything in and not just live to the mundane, I realise that sometimes you just have to sit back, meditate on dilemmas, make a decision and stick by it. These decisions can be influenced by the people / things around us but ultimately they are down to us to make.
Of late, I have been considering my future.
Half the trouble is finding the time to think about the dilemma that is the future without forgetting that I have to live in the present. The other half is deciding which of the skills I have, I love the most and wish to pursue as a career choice since jobs in SOCO are scarce in general and I have no desire to leave the North East at this stage.
I admit the whole thing has made me somewhat snappy and irritable of late. I’m one of those awful people who has to have a plan for everything. I write lists and schedules, and use diagrams etc. It struck me that as organised I am in some aspects of my life, decision making is not one of those areas in which I excel.
I thought about teaching as a career choice years ago, before I even trained as a SOCO or found that I loved to do it. I didn’t progress it back then as it appeared there was always ‘plenty of time’. Now I’m nearing 35 and having made the decision at 28 to go to uni, get my degree and then work as a SOCO I find that again I’m having to rethink where I am going and how I will get there.
The dilemma is this – I love writing, I love editing, I love proof-reading. I am however, pretty bad at business and dont believe I have a lot of business sense.
I am good at teaching/coaching (or so I’ve been told) and realised through Uni that I had a penchant for mathematics, physics and now english. Gaining my PGCE, especially in specialist subject areas such as math/physics would pretty much guarantee me a job, which pays well, has good hours and is generally regarded as a worthwhile career choice. I enjoy teaching and learning, and doing this as a profession would allow me a sense of achievement whilst helping other people. I know several people have encouraged me along these lines in the past. BUT, (and there is always a but right?) what if teaching means that I don’t find time to do the writing I love.
I like teaching sure, but I love writing.
I’ve been contemplating thinking about starting a business in copy-editing and proof reading, my Ma would more than suffice as relevant qualifications, and I know I can do it and do it well. I have infact done two novels so far from a copy-editing point of view and have thoroughly enjoyed it. I have also just had an unofficial request to edit a third novel upon its completion so obviously the market for such skills is there.
Not that this blog is in anyway asking for help making my decision – I fully understand it is my choice and will act accordingly, once I have made the decision.
I guess in explaining my dilemma, I’m hoping to point out to myself that making the decision will have to come, and relatively soon. To help with this I find myself looking at my influences. Many authors write the same genre as me, and write them very well. I know that my novel will be good, it stands out, and it will hopefully grab the attention of an agent/publisher. If I can produce something even half as good as my favourite authors then this is a very worthwhile pursuit, and so far feedback has been very promising.
I look to truely inspiring people such as Vicky Brown, who despite having initial problems picking up an agent/publisher has gone on to self publish and will no doubt make this a success with her positivity alone, and my good friend Char who has overcome so much in her battle just to stay alive, and of course my wonderful mum who has overcome a great deal in single-handedly raising me and my disabled brother.
Seeing people overcome their own barriers and be inspired into doing the things they want to do and sticking at it helps make the decision easy.
I already stated the words love and like – that in itself should make it obvious to me that whilst searching for another SOCO job, I should stick to the things I love and put the likes on the back burner for another look at some point in the future when perhaps the loves are no longer loves.
This applies to every one of us – life is too short just to play by the book and do the things you like – we should all strive to at least try and do the things we love, or whats the point in loving them right? Perhaps a little of this attitude has come from a book I am currently reading, ‘The Thinking Person’s Guide to Happiness’ by Ruth Searle – it portrays some very interesting points about the neuroscience involved in decision making and happiness. Perhaps its just that in striving to make decisions, I have just realised that as long as I actually make a decision, I have a little time to think about making the right one.
The right one will have to make me happy, it will have to involve doing something I love and making time to do it, and will have to involve the ongoing love and support from all my family, friends and colleagues. I think I just made my decision – see I told you writing down my dilemma in my blog would help me decide.
So if you want some advice from lowly old me, make the decision to do what makes you happy. As I say, lifes to short for anything else. 🙂