Last week I thought about time.
Time and how if you just blink for a moment you seem to miss a great deal. It feels like I graduated from my Ma yesterday but it has been almost a year. Christmas has been and already we are thinking about it again. Oh for a magic hourglass that you could run a little slower when needed.
I’ve had some knock-backs career-wise (not writing career, my employment career) this month – I applied for a CSI job with another police force and did extremely well to get an interview, gave an excellent interview too, but I was up against really stiff competition and lost the post to someone else. This was fine, because I was the least experienced going for the job, and being that I have 3 years experience it says a lot about the callibre of applicants.
I then applied internally for a CSI job and was refused an interview on a technicality – which I will be appealing, however it caused me to doubt myself in a major way. I thought that maybe they didn’t want me back because I couldn’d do the job, or maybe they thought I was no longer suitable. Or maybe it was just solely due to a technicality and there was no such undertones. The point is for a time, it made me very depressed in myself and made me doubt the choice to ever go into crime scene work.
It took a few days of me being grumpy, and snappy, to realise that though I had thought I had as good a chance as anyone of getting the job, and being refused had hurt a lot, I have so many other things going on in my life that I could focus on and put more time into just because of not getting the job.
I was thinking a lot about my writing this month – as well as the two job applications, interviews, stresses and working generally, I have decorated the stairs and landing (which I may add is not something I wish to try again for a long time!) which is an achievement as my house is now decorated 🙂
I also realised I have been neglecting some aspects of my life, some people in my life. My poor husband never seems to get a look in with me trying my damndest to fill as many hours in the day with as much stuff as I possibly can, and then moaning that there just isn’t enough time to do everything I want to do. It took a passing glance at myself through his eyes, to make me realise that I really need to learn to prioritise better and manage what time I do have much more effectively. So after much deliberation, lack of putting pen to paper, and complete lack of communication, I decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns and address the issues head on.
I made a time-table – I currently have a week off work and I didn’t want to waste it all away and then look back next week and think I had missed lots of opportunities to do the things I wanted to do. So time became my friend, or acquaintance anyway. I have scheduled in time to write, time to see friends, a little time to relax (spa day with my lovely mum who also doesn’t see me half as much as she would like to) and believe it or not, time to spend time with my extremely patient husband!
I also made the decision that a time-table is something that will work for me whether I am on leave from work or not.
I have missed lots of opportunities this month, and was suitably not impressed with the situation or myself as a result. But thanks to taking the time to weigh up my options, and consider all the implications surrounding time and the management of said time, I have come to the decision that I do actually have enough time to fit things in, as long as I stick to my schedule and don’t let myself be distracted.
I am however, just a little passed my scheduled blog writing time, so I suppose I’d better crack on with the next thing on my list. Until next month……thanks for reading, as always.