I took this picture of the amazing sunrise this morning. I love a good sunrise or sunset – but when it’s this vibrant and colourful it fills me with happiness. It reminds me of all the things that I forget in day to day life. Like being grateful for example. Or smiling for no reason. And it reminds me there is magic in the world if you just open your eyes and look.
We’ve just come into 2017 and usually I start the year by listing a couple of resolutions that I never end up completing for one reason or another. Last years was losing weight – which I did – then promptly put on all I’d lost again. So this year I’m not going to make resolutions – I’m just going to promise to do more of what makes me happy.
I’m going to write more – having officially started my part time hours at work yesterday, I will have more days over the month to combat the fatigue I suffer with the RA and also have more time on my hands to get back into the swing of writing and focus on it much more successfully. I’ve started book 5 (months ago now but it’s started), have a plot outline for book 6 and would love to work more on my demon trilogy. I’m going to work harder on promoting and am even learning to use instagram.
I’m going to spend more time with my family and friends – more quality time. It’s important to me that my family and friends always know my door is open, my shoulders are willing to share their load if they need, and my ears are always ready to be bent. I hate the thought that anyone feels alone in their battles – I’ve been there before and it’s not a good place to be. So come to me, shout and cry or laugh and giggle – either way time is precious and I’m always happy to give some of mine.
And I’m going to combat my depression more proactively – I’ve had it since I was in my early 20s and whilst it’s nowhere near as bad now as it has been, it hangs over me like a cloud and some days, the last thing I want to do is smile. I was given some mindfulness books for Christmas so I’m going to get stuck into those and let myself help me to battle the clouds.
I feel I’ve become more accepting of having RA over recent months – I know it’s never going to go away and I’ll have it forever – but I’d lose sight of the not letting the disease control you part. Admittedly I’ve been ill quite a lot over the last year – flaring and in pain with the fatigue at a horrendous level – this has impacted on so many aspects of my life including my writing. I’m not going to jump straight in and say I won’t letthis disease beat me as we all know that’s more than a little idealistic and naive. But I will work harder against it. I’ll remember to take my meds, I’ll listen to what the doctors say, and I’ll listen to my body and accept that whilst I can’t do what I want all the time, it doesn’t mean I’ll never do it.
So no resolutions for me this year – just a belief I can do better at this thing called living. I can look for the magic everyday, and I can be happier. What I have doesn’t define me, who I am does. Today I feel good going forward. And I love that feeling. Whether you’ve made resolutions or not, go into 2017 with a smile on your face. Just with that smile you’re inviting good things to happen. I’m not saying it’ll all be sunshine and roses – but you can do it and all of you can deal with whatever comes. Because you are amazing. Xxx