Tiredness, tears and truth …

Wow it’s been so long since my last blog – I know I say this virtually every month but time really does fly. My last blog was focussed around Harrogate and all that entailed. 

When I think of what I’ve achieved this month my initial train of thought tells me that really, the list is quite short. But then when I look more in depth, I’ve achieved quite a lot really. I’ve processed a brief outline for book 5, a very basic plot for a stand alone novel, and an equally basic plot for the supernatural trilogy I’m working on. I’ve done some basic research in relation to book 5, and done some editing on book 1. Can’t believe we are nearing the end of August already! Somebody needs to stop time! I’ve submitted my short story to my publisher who intends to publish this around October / November time this year – yikes exciting! My first novel has to be with him in October too, and then work will begin on cover designs and in-house edits. 

I’ve also done a read through of a children’s book for the lovely Susan Wilkinson which is a great story set in war times – am sure she’ll do fantastic with it. It’s very well written. 

I’ve had a meet up with the fab Sheila Quigley who’s been so supportive about my writing – her new book will be out in the next month or so so it’s definitely worth keeping an eye out for. 

All of this has been around me learning to face some rather harsh truths. It hit me quite suddenly that the auto-immune disease I mentioned having in the last blog will be with me forever. It’s not something I’ve ever considered and so far have just kind of put up with. I could sit here and tell you all about the massive swelling to my feet, knees, shoulders and hands, I could tell you how much it hurts and how the tiredness knocks me on my backside like nothing I’ve felt before. I could tell you I’ve cried more tears in the last few weeks than I have in ages – but do you know what, none of that matters. Pain is pain – it will eventually be managed with the medications when I’m finally put on them. They will also assist with the fatigue and the swelling. People with rheumatoid arthritis can and do go into a sort of remission for long periods. Having this isn’t the worst thing in the world by any means. There are people with a lot worse, people going through a lot worse, and after the month I’ve had thinking about not wanting this, I’ve finally started accepting it. 

This acceptance is what has allowed me to start focussing on my writing again. It’s been a tough few months trying to get a balance between the pain I feel using my hands and having to continue working etc. in some ways my writing had to take a back seat so that my energy was focussed on my employment, and that was hard. Writing had become so much a part of me and my life that it was hard not doing it for a while even though I really didn’t have a choice. Now that focus is back though – and I’m more determined than ever – book 4 will be finished by the end of the year, the first book in my demon trilogy will also have many more words added. Book 1 will be edited and sent in in time for my deadlines. These targets won’t be missed just because I have an auto-immune disease – I’ll adapt. Cos that’s what I do. I refuse to let it get to me and pull me down. It is how it is after all.  All I can do is look forward with a smile on my face. Yes there will be bad days, but there will also be good days and even better, there’ll be fantastic ones! So I’m taking a leaf out of my own blog advice. I’m going to keep smiling. As I hope you all will too!